Do I really need all these tools?

The Light circa  2005

Tim, a friend of a friend was here on the weekend. Tim is from England and as my friend was coming over for dinner we asked Tim and his wife to join us for a BarBQ on the deck.

I met Tim several years ago. Tim is a retired lawyer and was with the Kent County government in the UK before he retired. Tim has bags of energy mixed with an enthusiasm to take on home renovation projects. As is his nature it doesn’t take him long before he launches into his favourite topic of conversation. Do It Yourself or as his mates say in Kent “DIY discussions”.

I offer him another beer hoping that he will change the subject. He doesn’t take the bait and now he is giving us a walk through of the web page that Dewalt Tools has in England. Its not that I don’t want to discuss DIY, it’s just that my projects or repair work in the wood shed are not up to his standards. In fact Murphy my dog could handle a power tool better than I can.

Now Tim wants to move from the deck and into my shed and check out my tool box. He wants to inspect my recent projects and any new gadgets that I have purchased. Tim has moved on from the Dewalt Tools web page and is now explaining to me the wonders of computer assisted drafting, CAD for those in the DIY club. He assures me that it really is easy to redesign your whole home. Murphy wags his tail and wants to say that Dad can’t do those things, but being the good dog that he is, Murphy simply smiles at Tim.

Now I am no different than most retired men, I like to escape to the shed. In fact I have three sheds and a basement. In each of these special hideaways I have evidence that I have attempted most of the common DIY projects. I say evidence and not finished products. I am more adept at creating kindling for my wood stove than useful items such as bird houses or children’s furniture. That is not to say that I don’t have all the tools.

I know where all the Home Hardware stores are in the province. I read the flyers each Friday hoping that a new power drill might be on sale. I can’t go to Truro without spending money and a morning in Canadian Tire. Ask me if I want to go to Moncton and as long as I can drop my Princess Auto then I will even contribute to the gas for your car.

My problem is that I am not very good at actually using these tools.

I have to admit though that I am very good at collecting all the hardware tools. When I am south of the border and it rains, then I join the other bored men and wander through the Big Box DIY centres. It all seems so easy when you read the DIY monthly magazines. Build yourself a new bookcase. This is another good reason why I frequent the library and no longer buy first editions.

Now back to Tim and his visit to my main shed. The main shed is for tools, building materials and my table top saw. The second shed is devoted to poultry feed and the miscellaneous feeders that my feathered friends need to enjoy their meal breaks.

The third shed, my latest addition to having a hideaway, is my fishing, golfing centre. There you will find all the clubs that I have bought on sale in order to improve my golf swing. After 45 years of golf I have finally discovered that it is vitally important to have a swing that is consistent. Only then can I expect an acceptable level of play. I have discovered that fact but the good swing still alludes me.

Hopefully this fall I will seek assistance from those who know more than I do and together we will build an addition to the first shed so that I can adequately store my Dewalt collection that I found at Home Hardware and not on the Dewalt web page.

Quietly Retired on Waugh’s River

Edward C Sampson